If She Ever Hurts You
by Detouredbe
Summary: During the night between "Raising the Barn" and "Back to the Kindergarten", Amethyst and Peridot each end up listening to the same song.


**Well, I'm going to say what we're all probably thinking. That bout of Steven Universe episodes was one heck of an emotional ride! And of course, "Back to the Kindergarten" did as we knew it would even back when we knew it as the "Emotional Shorty Squad Episode": It provided a breath of fresh air for the dedicated shippers of Amedot! To celebrate, here's a hypothetical oneshot taking place during the night between the events of "Raising the Barn" and "Back to the Kindergarten". I listened to the song referenced, "Separate Ways" by Journey, the other day and was reminded of how, around the time I composed "Maybe Fate Did It", I saw similarities in my portrayal of Amethyst's feelings over Peridot settling with Lapis, and the lyrics to that song. This time, I realized there are also parallels in the way that Lapis took off on Peridot, so I thought, why not revisit and build upon that theme? After this, though, I'm going to have to come up with something sillier and quick, because this oneshot is quite a doozy for the feels as well...**

 **Copyright for Steven Universe and all characters mentioned belongs to Rebecca Sugar and Cartoon Network, and "Separate Ways" belongs to Journey.**

When Steven told her why he was about to set the bathroom up like a bedroom for Peridot, Amethyst did her best to act casually sympathetic. She was sympathetic, of course, but it wasn't the strongest emotion aroused in her. No. Above all else, she was _livid._

How could Lapis do that to Peridot? As much as it had always pained Amethyst, Peridot was _so_ devoted to Lapis. It had been a number of months since Amethyst finally came to accept that Peridot and Lapis had made a happy life together, and that she'd have to suck up her own feelings and be happy for Peridot/them. Yet now, Lapis had uprooted it all, and left Peridot's feelings to wither, which inevitably meant that Amethyst's feelings were shaken out of their bed as well.

There were so many things she'd like to do right then and there. Run into the bathroom and envelope the distraught green Gem in a crushing hug, possibly pouring out her bottled up promises of love whether the recipient was ready to hear them or not. Shapeshift into something able to fly – iron out those details later – and track that space-bound cad/coward down until she could find her and, without a whole ocean of water at the blue Gem's disposal, finish her off and bring Peridot's precious barn back to her – iron out shard-hiding details later as well... The sanest decision Amethyst could make, and the one she finally did, was to just go into her own room in the temple and try to chill, until she could get her head and metaphorical heart together.

Flumping down on a couch atop one of her stacks, Amethyst pillowed her head in the crux of her folded arms, staring aimlessly up above. Seconds passed, and tension mounted instead of dissipating, so she knew she'd need to add something else to the picture. Something involving.

Music. Yeah. Couldn't get more mind-occupying than that. Scrambling off the couch, she rummaged around until she drew out an old radio. It wasn't that long since she last used it, so she figured it must still work. She began tuning it back and forth, not really certain what she was looking for, but simply winging it as she did with most of her choices.

When she finally landed on a station, however, it wasn't so much because she'd found a song she felt like listening to. It was, in fact, more as if the song had found and chosen her...

/

Peridot hadn't felt good while Steven was moping in the bathroom with her, but she only felt worse when he finally left for the night. So the Earth-phrase "Misery loves company" really did ring true.

Lapis had just up and left. And taken the barn away, with virtually everything inside. At least she hadn't taken Pumpkin, though since the canid squash was no longer in the bathroom with her, for all Peridot knew she'd up and left her as well.

Peridot thought her eventual honesty and encouragement would have appeased Lapis, but apparently it wasn't enough. What else did she have to offer, though? Companionship, care, humour, distraction from her woes, and moral support. To say nothing of _Camp Pining Hearts_. What else was there? Their crops? No, Lapis left those as well. Good thing too, they wouldn't last a minute out in space, hydrokinesis or no hydrokinesis.

Well, Peridot couldn't think what else was missing... or maybe she could. Maybe her honesty about her own feelings came too late. Maybe if she'd been more open with Lapis, instead of constantly brave-facing and buttering everything up for her benefit, Lapis would have had more respect for her, and considered her submission that they could stand a chance against Homeworld, if they worked together as a team with the Crystal Gems. That was it. Peridot had opened up at the last minute, and done everything at once, that should have been done over the whole period they'd lived together. Her words must have rung hollow in tune to her timing. How could Lapis believe Peridot's claim of faith in both their abilities, and assertion of courage in the face of Homeworld's looming threat when it took Peridot until then to have the courage to communicate with her?

All the time she thought she was being strong and brave for the blue Gem, she was being cowardly and subservient. No wonder Lapis didn't respect her. No wonder she'd been so easily able to forsake her. The very behaviour Peridot thought would keep her relationship with Lapis close and secure was what doomed it after all...

She needed a distraction. Lethargically lifting her head up from the mattress in the bathtub, she glanced around the room for something that would suit. Gaze at herself in the mirror? No, her recent thoughtwave left her feeling too disappointed in herself. Play with the knobs in the tub? No, the mattress wouldn't be comfortable if it got all wet – she still didn't want to exact physical torture on herself. Flush herself in the – no, the last time she did that, Lapis was there. Definitely not that.

Then she spied her tablet on the sink counter. One of the few things Lapis hadn't taken. Also the most useful of her belongings, since as far as distractions went it held so many options. Pulling herself out of the tub, Peridot padded over to the sink, retrieved the tablet, and curled up on the floor, browsing aimlessly to find an option that stuck. Eventually, she favoured the idea of listening to music, but still didn't really feel like thinking out what kind or what piece. Peridot would have probably been alarmed at how mentally lazy she'd become in the past couple of hours, were it not for that very laziness itself.

She decided to tune in to FM radio, and let the music providers in the stations choose what she'd listen to. Settling on one station at random, she flopped back into the mattress, playing the music at a comfortable listening volume while still keeping in mind her generous host's sleep cycle. Maybe the song this station would play would take her mind off Lapis and the barn, and the way of life she'd lost.

But oh boy, did what came on next do anything but that...

/

It was the license of Life itself to arrange situations so symbolically in synch as were taking place in two different parts of the Beach House/Temple, that night. It was the license of Life to use one song to unite two unhappy Gems without their being even slightly aware of the connection.

Amethyst was familiar with this song; had long considered it a particularly good example of the rock genre, especially when one was down in the dumps and wanted a melody to fit the mood. It had never fit quite so well before as it did for her now, however, for now she realized the lyrics were spot on with her part in the emotional web that had been tangled for so long, and was now completely unravelling.

Peridot, meanwhile, was also drawing parallels between the lyrics of the song and what had just transpired earlier that day. Whereas the singer was probably only being poetic when he said it, she and Lapis were literally worlds apart, and while she did not know for sure, she could easily guess that a halved heart would cause similar pain to that which reverberated in her form, seeming to stem from the region of her chest.

Amethyst recalled how she would stay up all night, not in the mood for indulging in sleep, for weeks after Peridot and Lapis began living together at the barn. She refrained most of the time from visiting the barn after that, except if Steven brought her there or if there was an emergency that the Crystal Gems were all called together for, knowing her pain over losing ground with Peridot would only worsen. Even so, she remembered the bittersweet occasion she'd "reached for" Peridot by fleshing out her colonization joke at the table when they'd thrown that party for Steven's uncle, Andy. Then just like that, Lapis butted in and made the joke about herself, and Peridot, with the flirtatious momentum gone, changed her mind and started joking with Lapis instead.

Peridot had to praise the metaphor, " _survive the tide_ ". Not only because Lapis' powers pertained to water, but because Peridot bottled her true feelings over leaving Earth up till the last moment, and they all finally burst forth in a huge tidal wave. One that apparently the bond between herself and Lapis just couldn't survive. Thus, they divided.

It had been the evening of that party that Amethyst had finally accepted that Peridot, and what they might have once had, or almost had, was lost to her, and it had taken all of her emotional reserves at the time to let go of the hope she'd tried many times before to douse, but which had stubbornly darted here and there, always waiting for the times when they were together to flare up again. Though to say it out loud risked ringing cold, or choked, or rehearsed or otherwise unconvincing, Amethyst had made herself wish Peridot well in her home and life built with Lapis. Even if she was doomed to be alone, the Gem she loved would never be. That was until now.

As it was scripted to be, however, the most resonant part of the song for both of them was the refrain:

 _Someday, love will find you,_

 _Break those chains that bind you,_

 _One night will remind you,_

 _How we touched and went our separate ways._

 _If he ever hurts you,_

 _True love won't desert you,_

 _You know, I still love you,_

 _Though we touched and went our separate ways._

Both Amethyst and Peridot loved someone whose love had in some way been bound as if by chains. For Amethyst, a wacky part of her mindset that was equal parts cynic and sentiment had always toyed with the notion that Lapis had woven some sort of spell over Peridot that had turned the affections she once seemed to hold for the purple Gem, onto herself. For Peridot, despite her belief that it was her own failure to communicate that ruined their relationship, she knew that Lapis' mind was still that of a prisoner, scared, shaken, utterly traumatized. Otherwise she never would have wanted to leave Earth upon learning of Steven's encounter with the Diamonds in the first place.

It was for Amethyst alone, however, that one part of the refrain, three quarters of the way through, hit her throbbing proverbial heart spot on. The one whom Peridot had gone with instead of herself had hurt Peridot. From what Steven remarked in passing, absolutely _destroyed_ her. But Amethyst still loved her, and always would. And Journey's frontman was right. Peridot, in face of Lapis' betrayal, needed the support of an unwavering love. Even if she couldn't expect Peridot to feel the same way, with all the love she had, Amethyst would gladly and willingly give, and give, and give.

It was not until the despairing wail, twice called, signaled the end of the song that Amethyst realized she was crying. Boy had listening to that song turned out to be a bummer. Still, Amethyst wouldn't call the decision to listen to music a complete bust since the song had filled her with resolve as to what she must do, come the morning (this suddenly did not feel like a "sleepless night"). Then again, she would have wanted to do what she could to make Peridot feel better anyway, so... yeah. Things were pretty rough right now.

/

The tears that had not flowed up till now, since Lapis had flown away, finally began to make their journey out of the green Gem's eyes and into the unknown world as soon as she began drawing connections between their relationship and the song. Nonetheless, Peridot found that she was mesmerized by the melody and the lyrics and couldn't switch to something else till it was done. That having been said, she wasn't surprised at the end by just how much she regretted letting those dumb humans orchestrating the music arrangement listened to by millions influence her as well. She once again had to remind herself of Steven's need for uninterrupted sleep, or else that agonized cry over lost love at the end would have rendered her a fullout sobbing mess.

Ensuring she remained a quiet mess instead, Peridot decided it was up to herself to find music that she could handle better, in the state she was in. Browsing through her own downloads, she recalled a 'country blues' instrumental that she and Lapis had always mutually enjoyed. It was melancholy, and a reminder of their shattered love, but it was not devastating. She set it on automatic replay, and went back to slumping in the bathtub, only occasionally dragging herself around a little at a time in there for the remainder of the night. It was pathetic, but at least it was some semblance of an answer to her question for Steven earlier, of what was to be done now.

 **AN: Honestly, who didn't want to cry for Peridot after what happened? All I can say is, I hope it doesn't take too long, canonically, for her to fully recover her spirits and carry on. Let's hope we'll get to see very early on in 2018!**


End file.
